Who Am I?: 3 Truths to Get Your Identity Rooted
Written by: Kayla Thomas
Have you ever looked at yourself and thought, “Who is this imposter?” “I don’t even recognize myself!” “Who am I?” “What is the meaning of my life?” “Who am I supposed to be?” These are all tough statements and questions, but they are rooted in one cause: identity crisis. When you can honestly look at yourself and not recognize who you are, or question aspects of yourself, that is a clear indicator of an internal conflict of identity. How do I know? Well, I’ve been there–many times.
I remember the first time I struggled with my “place” in the world, I was 14 years old and just starting high school. My mom bought me a few velour sweatsuits (the fashion at that time, thanks to Jennifer Lopez) and I wore one to school. Let me tell you, it seemed like every guy in my school had a sexual comment about me and the way I looked in that suit. It happened so often that, although it made me uncomfortable, I began to think it must be normal. This was “confirmed” by how some of my new friends would interact with guys in the school. As a way of fitting in, I would do what “my girls” were doing. If they were hugging guys in the corner, so was I. If they were poking out certain body parts to attract attention, so was I. If they were skipping class to hang out with the football team in the cafeteria, so was I. You know what the crazy thing about this was? I actually hated doing all of those things. So why did I? Because my identity was rooted in what my friends were doing rather than in what I enjoyed doing. Do you see how this could be dangerous?
Allow me to give you another example. Several of my friends in university were attracted to the same sex. They would often invite me to LGBT events and clubs and, while I was attracted to the opposite sex, I would go. I have to admit, I enjoyed the music and the “vibes” at these events. Eventually, I started questioning if I was attracted to the same sex as well. This started me down a dangerous path of “dabbling” with same-sex relationships. Throughout this experimentation phase, I knew something didn’t feel right. I proceeded anyway because I “knew” that if I was enjoying myself so much in the LGBT community, then my sexual orientation must align with that community as well. So what changed? I hit my version of rock bottom and a friend invited me to her church thinking it would give me some peace. Eventually, as I began learning who God said I was, I had a personal conviction that what I was doing was wrong.
So what does God say about me? I spent many years stuck in a cycle of “discovering” and “reshaping” who I was, or who I thought I should be. It wasn’t until I discovered these 3 biblical truths and meditated on them, that I realized who I was in Christ all along:
- I’m chosen and blameless! Ephesians 1:4 says that “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” Have you ever done something to try and catch the attention of someone and it doesn’t work? Doesn’t that leave you wondering “why not me?” or “what’s wrong with me?” Well, God chose us before we could do anything to stand out to him and guess what? Before Him we stand faultless. All the mistakes we’ve made in our past, once we repent and turn back to God, are wiped clean!
- I’m an heir! Galatians 4:7 says that we are no longer slaves, but children of God —this makes us heirs! It takes an attitude adjustment to go from a slave mentality to an heir mentality. Slaves work so hard for little to nothing in return, but heirs don’t need to work for the inheritance they are to receive. Everything I do as a Christian is not to earn a “better” place in heaven; it’s to share with everyone the joy and gratitude I feel being a part of large spiritual family with a Father who loves me for who I am!
- I’m accepted! This truth shakes me to the core. Everything I did in the past, all the poor mistakes, was to be accepted by my peers —who never really accepted me, anyway! To know that I’m fully accepted by God (Romans 15:7), and I don’t have to do anything to earn it, leaves me in constant awe.
Not knowing who you are is a tough struggle to deal with. Friends, there is no reason why you need to continue walking out in life in a state of internal confusion. That is why the “Break the Cycle” challenge is so necessary. Thousands have already said “yes” to dedicating 4 days to break the cycles of toxic relationships, identity crisis, financial strife, and generational curses. What is stopping you from saying yes? You have everything to gain and nothing lose! Click here to take your first step to freedom.