What to Do When You Discover It’s Love
Five years before my wife became my wife, we were stuck in summer school together. Our school had cubicles lining the walls and she was two cubicles away from where I sitting. I feel bad for the poor, innocent soul who sat in the cubicle between ours; he was stuck right in the middle of two star-struck teens, in the thick of our teen angst.
We would toss little notes of wadded graph paper back and forth between cubicles. We did this all summer long; it’s how we passed our time! But one day, it all changed. Sarah wasn’t even my girlfriend at the time, but there was obvious chemistry between us. I knew how I felt, but was far too afraid to tell her—and even more terrified to discover how she felt.
This little game of ours went on without a hitch—until one day, our safe little world was cracked wide open. After a fun night hanging out with our friends, she looked at me differently as she got back into her car. The next day, she was obviously being tormented by some distant musings. I asked her if anything was wrong, but she couldn’t give me a straight answer. I was frustrated and bewildered by the complexity of the female mind, and returned to my little cubicle, none the wiser.
As our four-hour summer classes ended that day, that familiar little wadded up ball of paper landed on my desk—but this time, with a thud. This one changed my world. “I’m OK, Dan. I just never expected to fall in love with my best friend.”
What? Excuse me, WHAT?!
True Love’s Aftermath
As I went to work after that stunning revelation that Sarah was in love…with me…my mind was awhirl with questions, and joy, and terror.
When you discover that the individual that you’ve been pining after with trembling hands and heart ablaze feels the same way, everything changes. Navigating the precarious waters of being in love is a beautiful, yet delicate situation.
I’d like to help you out. When you discover that it’s love, remember these three things: recall your standards, act with chivalry, and stay calm.
Recall Your Standards.
When you fall in love, it is so easy and very tempting to follow your heart. As romantic and poetic as this notion sounds, the biblical principle is to follow the Holy Spirit. Your heart is still in process and development. In the nostalgic and whimsical realm of love, I had to remember what true love looks like, which is often to protect your relationship and your hearts, at the expense of impulsivity. Remember your vows of purity, and adhere to them. It is easy to fall to prey to impulses when your heart suppresses your rationale.
Act with Chivalry.
I knew that I had Sarah wrapped around my finger, and she knew she had me at her beck and call, also. It would have been easy for me to act on instinct, rather than respect. Don’t allow your flesh to mute your chivalry. Serve him or her. Be honest. Be the you that he or she fell in love with.
When that bomb dropped and I learned of Sarah’s true feelings for me, I panicked. What if I couldn’t sustain her feelings? What if she got to know me more intimately, and learned that I was more human than she had originally thought? These thoughts are normal. What I learned instead was to take it step by step, day by day. Your significant other fell in love with you. Not your superhero alter ego! Understand that, yes, your companion will see your flaws, but true love will pick up where infatuation leaves off.