No Sex Until Marriage?: The 3 People You Will Need Help From
I am so proud of you. I don’t care about your past or even your last night, I simply care about your tomorrow. Abstaining from sex until marriage is one of the best ways to guard your heart and mind from attaching to someone before its appropriate time.
A man can put a condom on to protect you from an STD or pregnancy, but there is nothing to protect your heart, which is just as important.
If this is your desire for your dating relationship then there are 3 people you must have to assist you in this amazing goal. You can’t believe the hype that you can do this alone.
- An Agreeing Partner
Yes, your partner is the first most important person that must be on board with abstaining from sex until marriage. People always ask us when is it a good time to let a potential person know that you are desiring to wait until marriage to have sex. We tell them as soon as things are beginning to turn serious or once there has been a communicated intention of progressing towards a committed relationship. If that person doesn’t also share the same desire then you may want to reconsider moving forward. Abstaining from sex is a core value that must be agreed by both parties. If only one person agrees and the other person doesn’t, you will not be able to have a healthy dating relationship because the other person will just be waiting until you give in on that one special night.
2. An Inspiring Mentor
A mentor is someone that is NOT your friend. A friend is peer-level, but a mentor is someone you look up to. This could be an older married couple or someone from your church that has the ability and desire to see you make it to the altar without giving into the desire to have sex. A mentor is someone that agrees with you and your partner’s goal and will be consistent to check in with you throughout your dating process. To acquire someone like this is just a simple ask.
- A Strong Friend
This is the 2nd most important person that will give you the encouragement you need to stay strong during your season of dating to not give into the temptation to have sex. A strong friend is one that is not going to waver and will continue to keep you accountable for every action you make. They will not be easy on you and you must allow them access into every detail in order for this relationship to work to its full capacity. If you do fall short or come close to falling then this person will encourage you but also discuss the situation to see how to prevent it from happening again. You need a strong friend.
My wife and I were able to abstain from sex our entire dating process and it was one of the best decisions we made. We both had these 3 types of people in our lives that were able to walk with us to ensure we didn’t give into the temptation to awaken love before we said, “I Do” to one another. You can do it too. No matter where you find yourself right now. It’s okay to start over today and make that commitment to God and yourself. I promise it will be worth it.