Naked in My Marriage
I use to be ashamed of my past experiences – afraid of judgment. It wasn’t until a few years ago that God revealed to me that it was okay to share my story and not be afraid of people’s opinions. I can honestly say, that I felt freedom in Christ to know that I didn’t have to hide who I was. My past gave me a story to glorify my heavenly Father and to break chains of bondage.
While single I would share my testimony with others about how I had overcome many obstacles in my past. But when I started dating my now husband, I wondered would this man be able to accept my past, my right now and my future.
I already had 3 children by different fathers. I was hoping that we would be able to avoid this conversation. I just knew that once he found out that I was woman that had 3 children by different fathers that he would leave. He didn’t have any children, so I kept thinking, “Why would he want me?”
One day he brought it up while we were on the phone, “Tell me about the children’s fathers.” I choked up and instantly became afraid to share. I was wondering, “How did he figure it out?” I guess it wasn’t difficult because my children always introduced themselves with their first and last name.
I managed to get through the conversation by talking about each parent. Even though our co-parenting relationships weren’t the best, I spoke the truth without bashing the other parent. After I pushed through sharing, I just broke down.
He heard the quiver in my voice and said he was on the way to my house. I immediately braced myself for the break up. He arrived, greeted me, and then went straight to the kitchen and started to clean out the refrigerator. I was completely confused. He then sat me down on the couch and said, “I’m not going anywhere. I just wanted to know where I needed to step up in the children’s lives. I love you and I love those kids.”
Mind blown at this statement, I realized that I had met the man of my prayers. I would’ve never said “I do” if I couldn’t be completely naked with my husband. I had to be with someone that I could be open and honest with about my past. I refused to live in shame. As long as I watered down my past experiences, I would continue to live in bondage.
Marry the person that you can by completely naked with in your marriage. That person will never use what you share against you, but will love you even more. They will see you the way that Christ sees you – courageous, bold, strong, an over-comer, and a game changer. I love that I am able to be naked in my marriage. If I am naked, I am authentic; if I am authentic; I am able to fulfill my destiny,and be unashamed of my story.