I Called My Wedding Off: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself to Determine If He’s the One-Part 1
I called my wedding off. It was two months prior to my big day. The date had been set, bridesmaids chosen, venue booked, and wedding dress ordered but… I just couldn’t do it. I’d dated this man for years. It made sense that the next step would be marriage but I had doubts. I knew something was missing but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. After a brief (11 months), courtship with my now husband, I couldn’t help but consider what was so different this time around. How is it that I could date one man for years, have doubts? Date another man for 11 months and have zero doubts?
Perhaps you’re like me. You’ve been dating a man for years but deep down in your soul you know, this can’t be it. You know he’s not the one but you’re comfortable. Change is scary. You have so much history. “Why rock the boat?” You’re slowly warming up to the idea of settling. You begin to reason with yourself. “It’ll get better after marriage.”
I knew what “wrong” felt like. It was marked by uneasiness. In my gut, I knew something was missing. At the time, I didn’t know what “right” felt like. After meeting my amazing husband, the pieces of the puzzles became extremely clear. I can confidently say, you know when it’s wrong, and you know when it’s right. If you haven’t reached a place of certainty, perhaps you need to pump the brakes. You may discover, just as I did, God’s perfect mate for you.
So, is he the one? I can’t answer that. Only you and God can. However, what I can offer, are thought provoking questions to consider. After answering these questions, it may become evident, or it may not. Either way, go to the Father. Just like any loving Father, He adores you. He loves it when you run to Him for help.
1. Does he know God or “know of “Him?
John 2:3, “And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments.” To know God is to obey Him. There are many temptations in life. If a man truly knows God, he’ll be more inclined to do right by you. He won’t leave you guessing. He won’t play games with your heart. You’ll never be able to watch a man 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your presence is limited; however, God is omnipresent. He’s everywhere at the same time. Knowing your potential mate is being held accountable to God brings a level of comfort. I’m not saying this man will be perfect, because he won’t. You and I aren’t either. I’m simply saying, obedience to God doesn’t lead to sin.
2. Does he pray with you?
James 5:16, “…The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” I was 33 years old and had been engaged twice before I ever had a man (outside of deacons or pastors) pray aloud with me. I was in relationships where I was told prayer was taking place but I never saw it. I won’t say they didn’t do it. I can only attest to what I saw.
I was on the phone with Chris, who wasn’t my husband at the time, for the very first time. Prior to hanging up the phone, he asked, “Can I pray with you?” “Wayment! What?! I was taken aback. Like alllllllll the way back! When he prayed, although my eyes were closed, I observed the ease of the words flowing from his mouth. Prayer wasn’t something he learned before he called me that night. He was comfortable. His tone was relaxed. He’d been there, at God’s feet, before. It was comforting to know he had a prayer life. That he knew the importance of prayer. That I could count on him to pray for me. That he knew how to communicate with God.
I truly hope you’ve enjoyed reading thus far. Stay tuned for Part II where the last two questions will be revealed. In the meantime, we’d love to hear from you. Do you think the first two questions are important in determining if he’s the one?
Tiffany Phillips is a southern girl, residing in Sweet Home Alabama. She’s a Christian, wife (married to the most amazing man, Chris), health and fitness enthusiast, and blogger who is eager to share what God has placed on her heart. Visit Tiffany over at her blog teawithtiffanyp.com
Why Tea With Tiffany P? Because she’s spilling all the tea!