The Bowman’s Story: Why Your Virginity is your Daddy’s Business
There seems to be a lot of buzz about being a virgin these days, especially since recording artist Tim Bowman Jr. married his bride Brelyn Freeman, now Bowman.
The buzz does not come from the fact that they got married,but rather because Brelyn, the bride, gave her father a certificate of virginity stating that her hyman was intact and that she was a virgin. Most people are confused as to why she needed to do this, and even more so, why she posted it on social media.
I do not know the girl personally, so I can not tell why for sure, but I can go into some of the biblical significance of your virginity, and why it was her daddy’s business after all. Before I begin, it is also important to note that it is reported that the groom was also a virgin, which is amazing!
I am very proud of both of them! In a culture full of pressure to conform sexually, it is very rare that couples wait. With that said, let me give some biblical background as to why the bride may have decided to present the certificate to her father publicly:
Duetoronmy 22:13-18( New Life Version)
“13 If a man takes a wife and goes in to her and decides he does not like her, 14 and says that she did sinful acts and puts her to shame before others and says, ‘I took this woman, but when I came near her, I found that she had been with another man,’ 15 then the girl’s father and mother should bring what is needed to prove she has not been with another man to the leaders of the city at the gate. 16 The girl’s father will say to the leaders, ‘I gave my daughter to this man for a wife. But he turned against her. 17 He said she has done sinful acts, saying, “I found that your daughter has been with another man.” But I brought what will prove that my daughter has not been with another man.’ And they will spread the clothing in front of the leaders of the city. 18 Then the leaders of that city will take the man and punish him. 19 They will make him pay a hundred pieces of silver and give it to the girl’s father, because he has put to shame the name of an Israelite girl who has not had a man. She will still be his wife. He cannot divorce her as long as he lives.
So, why a marriage certificate?
1. It is a Form of Protection- Our culture has a hard time grasping this concept because we have diluted the seriousness of marriage. While Jesus came and fulfilled the law, which allows us to be free from the law, there are still some great things within the law that obviously this young lady and her family have chosen to continue to practice.
Presenting a marriage certificate to her father is symbolic to the bloody sheet the Israelite girls gave to their parent’s after the wedding night. If people are freaking out over a certificate, I am not sure what they would do with the bloody sheet.
It was the fathers job to guard the daughters purity and heart. Could it be possible that Brelyn was thanking her father for the great job he had done in helping protect her purity and her heart? In the passage I shared, the father used the bloody sheet to confirm that her daughter was for sure a virgin. The medical examination was this young ladies confirmation.
2. It is a Sign of Honor- Both men and women are encouraged to keep their bodies for their spouse. For women in the old testament, it brought honor to her family. It was a shameful thing for a woman to be running around sleeping with whoever she wanted.
There was honor in waiting and keeping herself pure. A woman being pure was not just for her sake, but it was a sign that the family raised her well, thus she was suitable for the best man possible. Men were expected to be pure as well, and there were consequences for their promiscuity too. However, because the bride was being given away, it brought honor to the father to know he was giving his daughter away as a virgin. Perhaps Brelyn felt like it would be good to honor her family publicly for encouraging her and teaching her to keep herself pure before marriage. Maybe she wanted to honor and gift her father with this certificate. Remember, in the old testament the women gave her parents her bloody sheet!
3. It is a public decree of devotion- In the passage we read when a man tried to put away a woman dishonorably, it was done publicly. Everyone gathered in the town square to hash the matter out. Marriage was not just between the man and the woman, the whole community was involved. Perhaps this is why we have seen moral decay in our own culture, marriage is no longer communal.
I come from an African culture where marriage is still very much communal. Everyone is invested in the marriage, and everyone works hard to make sure it works. If the shaming was public, why could the celebration of purity not be public as well? Could it be that Brelyn wanted to make a public declaration of God’s faithfulness in keeping her?
As I have mentioned, I do not know the young lady, nor her reasons behind her choice. But, based upon my understanding of marriage and the biblical culture, maybe these are some of the reasons she chose to share it with both her father and the public.
Before I finish, I want to share some other practical reasons for all singles to preserve their virginity and celebrate it with joy their wedding night:
1.Spiritual Protection– Sex outside of marriage is a sin; sin opens doors to the enemy. There are certain things in our lives which we can not break through and certain promises we can not attain if we are in sin and open rebellion. it is as simple as that. Sin keeps us from God and His promises.
2. Emotional Protection- God created sex to bond people together; waiting keeps you from becoming entangled with the wrong person emotionally.
3. Physical Protection– Sex can take a toll on the body outside of marriage. Waiting protects you from unwanted sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy before marriage.
4. Guards against heartbreak- Breakups are hard enough, but often much harder if you have been involved sexually with that person. Sex was meant to keep two married people together. God created it as a glue. That’s why divorce is painful and sexual relationships end painfully, God never intended that sexual covenant to be broken.
5. It honors God- You can honor God with your words, or you can honor him with your life. Controlling your sexual appetite is one of the hardest things to do. But, when you can submit yourself to God completely in that area, enriches your intimacy and brings you closer to God.
Here is a thank you video from Brelyn along with the contract she signed with her father years ago. Check it out here under their thank you tab.
Cheers Timothy and Brelyn & good Job!