7 Actions to Take When Your Heart is Hurting
Nearly a decade ago, my heart took a beating when the guy I was in a relationship with told me his feelings had changed and that he was dating someone else. I was sure I had done everything I thought I was supposed to do to avoid this kind of result- I was pursuing God above all else, I’d been prayerful, I’d waited for confirmations before moving forward, I made it clear it needed to be a God-centered relationship and I’d involved trustworthy friends and family in the process. There was no doubt in my mind that the Lord’s approval was all over this …until this happened!
I vividly remember the day I had this conversation and the deep hurt I experienced afterward. I desperately just wanted to get away from the pain, to forget about him, to forget about the whole thing in general, to be free from the memories we had and the resounding promises he’d made and then broke.
In the days to come, I would put a worship song on repeat: I Have Found by Kim Walker-Smith. The chorus goes like this: ‘You are all I want, You are all I need, everything my heart could hope for. We are longing for the glory of the Lord, because we know there’s so much more.” I knew I didn’t believe those words then, but I genuinely wanted to and found an incredible peace in listening to them.
Fast forward to now… I recently was at a worship service and we sang that exact same song. Tears rolled down my face as I realized – I BELIEVE WHAT I’M SINGING! I can say that I am now at a place where I truly believe that the goodness of God surpasses anything this life has to offer. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that I wouldn’t have gotten to that point without doing some specific things:
1. Focused on what I was grateful for
-After this happened, I got so sick of complaining and asking the Lord for things, that I decided to commit a month to only journaling about what I was thankful for. It completely transformed my heart! Because my focus was on what was good in my life, instead of what was negative, suddenly I couldn’t help but feel joy about what was happening.
2. Drew near to God instead of pulling away
-I distinctly remember the moment I was faced with deciding if I would allow God to be a part of what I was experiencing or push him away because He ‘could have done something about it,’ or because He ‘broke my trust.’ I put those in quotations because they are thoughts I’ve had, and I’ve heard other people vocalize…but aren’t necessarily true. It’s interesting how we want to give up the gift of free will only when we go through a hard time. I chose the first option, and am forever thankful I did. Choosing to draw close to the Father set me on a life-giving path that has led to so many adventures I couldn’t have dreamed of.
-Worship has a similar effect to being grateful…it changes your heart in the midst of circumstances. Oftentimes we can’t control our circumstances, but if our heart is right we can experience contentedness even if our world feels like it’s falling apart.
- Became a part of a community that built me up
-Find friends and family that will help you get healed up. If your current community spends more time caring about what’s going wrong, it’s going to be difficult to view the Father as the perfect One He is. Pay attention to how your community is influencing you, and look for one that gives you life.
-Ask the Lord to teach you what it means for Him to be “enough.” He is a relational God and loves to interact with us. If He says He is the way to true life, then He IS and would love to show you how!
- Discovered what it means to be a child of God, instead of a slave
-This was pivotal for me in my process of desiring God above all else. When you know you’re loved and a son/daughter of the King of kings, it makes it easier to love yourself and in turn, others…ESPECIALLY the Lord.
- Declared God’s promises over my life
-Find scripture that is relevant to your situation or to what you want to see happen. Speaking it out loud has great power! God spoke and the entire universe was created… He clearly has a value for speaking what you want to see even when it’s not there!
God created us to experience fullness in Him. And fullness in Him means that we get to experience what life is truly meant to be! In my experience, finding out what it means to say ‘He is enough’ is completely worth fighting for.