4 Mental Distractions That’ll Keep You From Finding Love
The year was 1992 in a small town called, Albany, GA. It was there that I had my first record of experiencing what I concluded at the time was love. Until, she moved and we no longer were in the same daycare together due to her family moving away. Yes, I said, “Daycare”. It was a real life example of the young and the playful.
From then I’ve always had a fascination with this thing called, love. My interest in love has peeked another fascination, which is how easy it is to allow things in our life to block us from finding it.
Many will argue that love is something you “fall into” hence the statement, “We fell in love”, but I’d like to challenge that statement by saying anytime I’ve fallen into anything it was an accident that I don’t want to do again.
Love shouldn’t be something you fall into with your feelings but rather something you walk into with your heart, soul, and mind all in agreement.
I want to look at 4 things I believe could be mentally distracting you from finding love.
1. Searching For the perfect person.
The search for the perfection person. Not only do I not believe there is only one person for you, I also believe there is no perfect person either. Dating can be very challenging simply because it is when a person puts on their best everything in order to impress the other person. This is why it is imperative that you watch for the small actions that determine everything about a person. For example one small thing you can do it see how the person treats the waiter or waitress at the restaurant. You have to give grace for flaws because guess what, you have flaws too.
2. Fear of Getting Hurt
Relationship should actually be spelled RISK. Because that is really what any relationship is, it is a risk. This is why it is crucial to set boundaries from the very beginning. No matter what your standards are in regards to what’s okay and what’s not okay, there should always be boundaries implemented in order to guard your heart. At the end of it all being hurt is NO FUN, but it is something you must not allow to distract you from being vulnerable once the time is right in order to allow a person in to who you really are.
3. Waiting For It to “Feel” Like Love.
Your feelings do not know your future. My wife and I were watching the new episode of The Bachelorette the other night. I literally counted more than 25 times that she mentioned “feel” or “felt”. It was clear that she was waiting for the feeling to hit her with one of the many guys she will attempt to find love with. Your feelings are the worse thing to rely on when trying to assess a person for the potential of marriage. What rather should be the assessment is wisdom. Wisdom will help you to see the person for who they are aside from feelings because you can get feelings for your dog but that doesn’t mean you should marry him. Don’t be distracted because you’re waiting for that special feeling, but rather allow wisdom to tell you if the person is good or not for your future.
4. Thinking “It’ll Never Happen, So Why Try”.
This negative thinking will cause you not to be optimistic while meeting new people and distract you away from being hopeful to give someone a chance beyond “hello: or “nice to meet you”. You cannot give love up to fate which believes, “no matter what I do, if it’s meant to be then it will be”. Wrong. That means if you sit on the couch everyday, when fate decides it’s time, he/she will come to your front door in a chariot to take you away into your fairy tale castle. You must try by getting out and meeting new people; that will encourage you to stay optimistic because it can happen when most least expect it.
I pray these 4 mental road blocks will help bring clarity to your journey to finding a person that has the capacity to love you the way you deserve and you love them them the same.