3 years into marriage, 1 Corinthians 7:34 makes perfect sense:
“An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband.”
Wait one minute, does that essentially say, “marriage can affect our relationship with God?” Yup and when I recognized the reality of this verse in my marriage, especially after my daughter arrived, it grieved me some. Between nursing, diaper changes, heading back and forth to work, helping my husband in ministry and trying to take care of home, there was less and less time for quality time with God. My responsibilities increase, life is no longer just about me.
So I get… it can become difficult to manage it all being married with kids, especially as women our job can be round the clock. It’s easy to disconnect from God simply because we are not able to give ourselves as much to the necessary things to keep a strong relationship with Him, like prayer, fasting, reading and studying the word. When I was single I was surely devoted to God, there were no distraction and it was much easier to find quality quiet time with Him.
Now, I have to be more intentional about making time for God and I, although, the above scripture is accurate in my life, realize God is my first love and I’m also married to Him. In addition, in order to successfully accomplish all of my other goals and responsibilities in life, I need Him!
Below are 3 tips to maintain your relationship with God while married:
- Creative Time:
The days of coming home from work and spending the whole evening with God is over. Now, I have to think about picking the baby up from daycare, figure out dinner, and prepare our family for evening service 2 days per week. However, I found several creative places to talk and spend time with the Lord.
- Commuting: The car is the perfect place to talk with God or even worship. Turn off the radio for quiet time with Him or play your favorite worship songs. I also find time with Him on the train ride to and from work. I’ll read and even pray softly.
- Lunch Breaks: If you work full-time like me, you can always fast & pray on your lunch break and/or have bible study. I do this often and in the past I’ve even lead bible study with co-workers.
- Chores: You don’t have to always be on your knees to pray. I’ve had some of the greatest encounters with God in the most unique places, once while washing dishes. I pray while in the shower, while cleaning and doing other chores. It’s okay to get creative.
2. Requested Alone- Time:
When I start to feeling like I need more than creative time with Lord. I’ll communicate with my husband and suggest him and my daughter have another daddy/daughter date. This way I can have the house to myself to spend quality alone time with God. Consider coordinating time with your spouse to do the same.
3. Family Time:
Although you may not have as much quality alone time with God, another way to spend time with Him is as a family. Something my husband and I do is pray and read one chapter together nightly. My 13 month old daughter is usually right there with us. It’s amazing to see her learn from us and imitate our prayer and worship by lifting her hands as if she’s worshiping too.