Thinking about having a baby? As a conversation that comes up in our house often, here are some things to consider in making your decision.
1. Your Emotional Stability As a Couple
Are you and your spouse in a healthy place in your relationship? If things are not good now, having a baby isn’t going to fix your marriage. If you have serious relationship issues, take the time to invest in your marital relationship now. Having kids will only complicate things further and make it harder to keep your marriage a priority with your new responsibility. Be intentional about growing as a couple now, your emotional maturity will shine as you prepare to handle parenthood.
2. Your Financial Stability
Can you afford to have a baby? Once you have a child, they never go away. Even having a dog for a pet has showed us how that has impacted our monthly finances, I can only imagine what that looks like adding another human being to the mix! This question may not necessarily have a black and white answer, but we would recommend trying to knock out your debt before getting pregnant, or if you find yourself pregnant, being intentional about saving up to 6 months of expenses in the event something unexpected were to happen.
Babies aren’t cheap, and each year has different financial commitments as they grow up. Of course you can find ways to make it work whatever your situation may be, but try to be mindful about what this will look like for you and your spouse.
3. Your Biological Clock
Although it is not popular to talk about, your age does play into your ability to have kids, and the older you get, the higher the chance of complications in pregnancy or your ability to get pregnant. While it has become culturally normal to start having babies in your thirties, doctors will show your odds of success in your twenties are significantly higher than later on. However, don’t allow this to be a reason to rush into something you are not ready for. Every couple’s timeline is different, and you need to do what is best for the TWO of YOU.
Something to consider: understand that when you DO decide to start trying to have a baby, there is no guarantee that it is going to happen right away or according to the timeline you wanted. Do not be discouraged! Often times couples will try for months, or even years without success, while others get pregnant when they weren’t planning on it. Luckily in today’s day and age there are many fertility options to help assist with the pregnancy process.
Unfortunately, fertility struggles often go unidentified until a couple has started trying or experienced complications. I want to encourage you to have this conversation with your spouse NOW.