Three Ways the Modern Husband is Coming Undone
The American Joke
In 2016 alone, I’ve seen three extremely strong marriages of people we are close to, crumble to nothingness –two of which are ending in bitter, brutal divorce. Is it her or is it him? Can we all agree that the way that Americans and probably Westerners do life is just plain insane? We run at a very reckless 10,000,000 miles an hour, exhausted and pushed to our max with the laughable attempt at balancing living for Jesus, work, family, friendships, dreams, meanwhile we wonder why something fails.
This pace in which we live is akin to juggling five 100 pound backpacks, riding a unicycle on a trapeze at 75 miles an hour, over an 8,000 foot precipice.
And we toss stones when someone falls? Explain that one to me, please.
And allow me to get off topic for a minute: we were never meant to add Jesus to the “juggling act.” He isn’t an addendum to our lives. He is Life; and the moment we seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, we begin to realize that all things are falling into place!
Wives, men today aren’t stupid. Husbands, women today aren’t demented. We are busy. We are over-worked, worried, overly overwhelmed. We’re just tired (among other things).
Men’s Problems Today
But something happens, sometimes, in the fray: we get frayed. In that place of constant battering, some men react poorly. I’m not saying that these apply to every man, but a great many, certainly.
Here are three ways that I see modern husbands coming undone:
- Men are distracted. Some men bury themselves in video games; others dive into hunting or fishing. Hobbies are excellent and even crucial to be able to decompress from life’s stresses. But the problems arise when men stop seeing their wives; wives become invisible, because men are too involved in escapism.
- Men are passive. Passivity is a problem in American men. Since when is it OK to watch your family fall apart, while you shake your head in disbelief, but don’t rise up and take threats to your family by the horns? Men don’t lead; they stay at home from church and let their wives plead with them to give church one more try. I understand discouragement. I understand dismay, but many men would rise above their problems if they would only stand and lead.
- Men have their priorities backwards. Men today are willing to roar like lions in the football stands, but run like sheep in the Church. Husbands can manage their jobs with precision and skill, but managing their home life doesn’t take precedence. Men, it’s time to have a vision for your family as big as, or bigger than your vision for your future.
These don’t represent every man, but I would say that most men struggle with one or more of them. Husbands, seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness. Women, don’t be discouraged by your husbands, but continue to affirm his place of sonship in the Kingdom.
Husbands, we are seeing a cultural decline in the West. What would happen if more men caught the vision of God for their families, and loved their wives and kids—with the knowledge that doing family life well can literally shape a culture?