The Real Reason You’re Still Single
As millennials, it seems we are trying to find the “sweet spot” – the age where you’re not too young to get married and sucking the fun out of your twenties, claiming responsibility, and the age where you suddenly look around and now all your friends are married and starting to have babies. We are trying to navigate through a changing phase of life, and hoping we don’t get left behind in the process. Dating, but casually – not pursuing anything TOO serious, because marriage is a big commitment, but complaining when we don’t have anyone. Seems silly when you spell it out, right? Here are some reasons you are still finding yourself in the single state.
Too Prideful to Try Online Dating
When it comes to dating, you don’t mind dabbling in the free apps, but you refuse to sign up for a dating program that costs, as if it screams desperation or shows embarrassment. Stop caring about what other people think! If you are looking to find someone to seriously consider spending your life with, WHY NOT pay for an online dating service? To me, the fact that someone is willing to invest their time/money into the possibility of love shows a greater level of commitment and serious pursuit, and we aren’t even dating yet! Not to mention, there is a good chance you may find more quality individuals than others where creeps have such easy access. Yes, you may spot anomalies either way – a great guy on a free app, or a creep on a paid one, but with dating profiles that match you on sites like eHarmony, you may have a better turnout.
You Get Discouraged Too Easily
You finally talk yourself into going on a date with someone you have been talking to you, it seems to go well, and they ghost you. Wait – what? Did I miss something? I thought we had a great time. If you are on the receiving end of the “ghosting,” roll it off. If that is the kind of person they are, it’s probably best you aren’t wasting any more time! Don’t let someone’s personality faults affect your self-worth and self-confidence. A part of seeking out love is vulnerability and risk-taking; you have to take chances, for the possibility of a great reward in a fulfilling relationship. You may try and some relationships will probably fail, but when you find the one that works for both of you, your journey will be worth it.
You Give Up Too Quickly
For my friends that do go on dates whether a blind date, tinder dates, bumble dates, first dates, it seems they all give it one to two times in person and decide whether or not they are “feeling it.” Too often it seems millennials are expecting a magical feeling of connection that will let them know they could really fall for this one! Today, I want to challenge the way you view love. Love is a choice. Did you know the global divorce rate of arranged marriages is only 6%?! And often those individuals don’t have a choice. If we decided every day that we were going to CHOOSE to love this person, you could fall in love with anybody.
That being said, if you find someone that meets your non-negotiables from a standard perspective: loves God, wants kids, has a steady job, gets along with family, or whatever your criteria may be (not the tall, dark, handsome, physical qualities), give the guy a CHANCE! Too often I see women giving up over silly reasons and then complaining that there are no good guys out there!
Is it that there are no good guys, or the good guys aren’t meeting your unrealistic expectations?
You Don’t Want Anything Too Serious (at least not yet)
Why millennials choose to date, but don’t want to think about marriage is something I may never understand. The idea of emotionally connecting myself to an individual only to have them waste my time and walk away broken-hearted sounds absolutely PAINFUL. Choosing to be serious about a relationship doesn’t mean you have to be ready for marriage tomorrow OR get married next year, and that is completely okay! My challenge to you would be to relationship check at the door. If this person doesn’t have qualities of someone you would consider marrying, or you can’t see yourself with them long-term, don’t waste your time. It’s okay to date to find what you like, but be careful of how long you allow it to go on. Be intentional about finding a spouse, you never know how long (or short) it may take for you to really connect with someone you could see yourself with.